Recharging your relationship and getting your spark back starts with communication.  Good communication has 2 parts: a speaker and a listener, so today you’re going to practice both!

Today’s challenge activity is divided into 2 steps: listening first, and positive speech second.


The goal here is learning how to “listen to understand” and learn about your partner. Not only will you probably learn something new about them, but they’ll also feel valued because you’re showing you’re interested in them.  

Step 1: Uninterrupted Listening


Ask your spouse an open-ended question. Then listen to them – uninterrupted – for at least 10 minutes.  Don’t respond (unless asked), or inject your opinions.  This exercise is all about practicing listening.


  • It must be an open-ended question (requires a response beyond “yes” or “no”)
  • Ask a question about something they are passionate about (hobbies, politics, personal experiences, something that’s going on in their “world”)
  • Try to make it something that’s outside of normal “life” and “business” stuff (kids, work, parents, etc.)
  • Stay away from issues or topics that might cause an argument


  • What are your career aspirations? What would be your dream job?
  • What do you think about [current event]?
  • If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be and why?
  • If you were going to choose an extreme sport to do, which would you pick?
  • What famous person would you want to meet and why?
  • If you ever started a career as a politician, what would you choose as your main platform?
  • What is your biggest fear and why? 
  • More examples here

Step 2: Positive Speech


For whatever time you and your spouse spend together today, focus on only using positive language.   Refrain from criticism (of your spouse, or other things), and instead, voice your appreciation for your them.


  • If you are going through a rough patch, you may not be feeling ultra-positive.  Find something positive you can remark on.
  • Be genuine and honest.  Don’t make things up that aren’t true just for the sake of this challenge.  Be real, and think deeply about the things you want to say.  (Your spouse will be able to sniff out any phony-ness, if there is any).
  • You are in control of your results.  The more effort you put in to positive speech and mindset, the better results you’ll have, and the longer they’ll last.


  • I really appreciate that you did ________ for me today.
  • I think you do a really great job at _________.
  • I trust you.
  • I’m seeing lately that you may not feel very _____, but I hope you know I still respect you deeply.
  • No matter how royally you mess up, I’ll always be glad you’re mine, I’ll forgive you, and I’ll love you forever.
  • I love you.
  • I’m so glad you’re home.
  • Our kids are so blessed to have a parent like you. I love the way you _____ them.

Step 3: Post about it!

In order to be eligible for the giveaway, you must post in the Happy Marriage Support Group about your experience today (we’re looking for positivity people!)

Make sure to use the hashtag #rechargeyourrelationshipday1 (otherwise we won’t be able to find your post!)