Relationship Advice for Women
Alright ladies, real talk. When it comes to relationships, we see things differently than men. At least in a broad sense. Of course, there are always exceptions. Biologically speaking, we are just wired a bit differently. And sometimes we have trouble understanding our male counterparts. Here is some relationship advice for women to help you understand your man a little bit better.
Relationship advice for women, specifically
This is probably one of the most important things you can do for yourself and for your marriage. Feelings of inadequacy frequently lead to more pertinent problems with your relationships in general, but especially your marriage.
One of the most common issues that rises up in female self-confidence is often a lack of intimacy. Most men are okay with feeling gross and overweight and still want to have sex. That is not so much the case of us ladies.
When we feel unattractive it is a challenge to want to get intimate with our partners. But this comes with its consequences. A lack of intimacy in a marriage can and does often lead to divorce. People need intimacy, especially men. And when people are being denied intimacy (man or woman), they will often find it somewhere else.
This is just one example of how a lack of self-esteem can cause serious problems in a marriage. Learning how to build self-confidence can be a huge asset to you and your partner. This is probably the single most important piece of relationship advice for women.
The silent treatment is one of the worst things you can do while arguing with your husband. Ignoring your partner is incredibly damaging. It actually activates the same part of the brain that detects physical pain.
Ignoring your husband when your upset doesn’t seem like it would be all that harmful, but it is a harmful and ineffective technique while fighting with your spouse.
Men can’t read your mind
You’ve probably heard your husband say it (if not, good for you). “I can’t read your mind.” And, in that case, he would be correct. No one can read anyone’s mind, so why would you expect your husband to be able to inherently know what you need?
The problem is not that you think that, but rather you cannot understand that your husband does not think in the same way that you do. The thing is, when you put two people in the same household that come from two different backgrounds, everyone is going to have different expectations.
For instance, if your husband is messy and you’re not, chances are he doesn’t understand the importance of a clean house. And what you might not realize about yourself is that it’s not about the clean house. It’s that you feel love through acts of service.
It’s important that you can communicate your needs clearly and effectively to your husband. They are not going to be inherently thoughtful. If they are, it might not be how you would like. Tell them what you need. Explain in as many ways as possible until they understand.
Be a generous lover
Let’s have some real talk. Women 100% get the short end of the stick when it comes to sex and intimacy. Men get off just about every time, and after that, they often lose their sex drive, leaving their ladies unsatisfied and frustrating.
In these situations, its easy for men to come across as selfish, and in some cases they are. But there is often a reason it becomes this way, at least with your spouse. Ask yourself was he always a bad lover? If yes, i’m so sorry. But if not, ask yourself what has changed?
Are you both just going through the motions? Have you stopped doing things that he likes? Are you unenthusiastic at the mention of sex? If so, why?
Chances are, as one of you became more selfish/less enthusiastic, the other followed suit. One of you has to fix it, so why not you. Start acting like you want it more often. Offer to do that thing he likes a little more often. The worst that can happen? Your sex life stays the same.
Learn how to validate him
Validating your partner is an essential communication skill. This is an important piece of relationship advice for women. It will help your partner feel valued and understood.
This is a huge challenge, especially for those of you whose partner’s don’t talk much about their feelings. But the reality of the situation is that many men don’t really know how to share their feelings.
The first step in learning how to validate your husbands feelings is to be opportunistic when he does share something. Many men shut-down the second they let themselves be vulnerable and it is not received well.
Learn to recognize when he needs something, and do your best to give it to him. The best way to do this is to listen to understand, instead of to react. This will help your husband realize that opening up to you is safe.
General relationship advice
This is important relationship advice for women and men alike. Or even for life in general. Showing your husband gratitude for everything he does for you or your family lets her know that what he does is appreciated.
For some reason, a lot of us think that our spouses inherently know that they are appreciated for what they do, even if you don’t say anything. Not true. I’m sure you’ve seen at this point on the internet a female pointing out that their husband did the dishes, and expects to be thanked. Meanwhile, she does everything around the house and never gets thanked.
Ladies, this is absolutely true. It happens a lot. But, has it occurred to you that your husband wants to be appreciated for when he is being helpful as much as you want that same appreciation?
Chances are, your husband does a lot for the relationship as well and never gets thanked. If he goes to work and you don’t, thank him. If you both work hard all day, still thank him for going to work. He’ll probably start doing the same for you. Maybe you take care of the inside chores and he does the outside, maybe vice-versa. Thank him for things he does.
He will appreciate the sentiment, and in turn begin to appreciate what you do for him as well. Gratitude is one of the pillars of happiness, especially in a marriage.
You are teammates
You and your wife have chosen to go through life together. That does not mean you both shouldn’t take time for yourselves. You absolutely should. It does mean, however, that you should be making decisions together, based on the greater good of your marriage.
In other words, respect your husband enough to not buy a bunch of stuff without telling him, as much as you may want said. Think about how pissed you would be if your husband spent that kind of money without telling you. It is not better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Say “I love you” often
It’s pretty simple. Saying I love you often reassures her that you care, in the same way saying thank you shows her you care. Say it often and back it up with the actions we just talked about. That is the key to having a healthy life and marriage.