Relationship Advice for Men
Alright guys, real talk. When it comes to relationships, we see things differently than women. At least in a broad sense. Of course there are always exceptions. Biologically speaking, we just are wired a bit differently. And sometimes we have trouble understanding our female-counterparts. Here is some relationship advice for men to help you understand your wonderful woman a little bit better.
Relationship advice for men, specifically
When we think of self-esteem within a marriage, we often think of women having poor body image issues etc… Or at least that is what most often is talked about. What most people don’t realize is that men also have self-esteem issues, we just have a tendency to show it differently.
Men tend to shutdown emotionally, give-up, or get angry/frustrated when we feel inadequate. I’ve seen it in so many men in my life. What men need to do to remedy this is allow yourself to talk about your feelings. I repeat: you NEED to do this.
Just like your spouse, you have needs and feelings. You might not know it, or be in touch with them, but they are there. When you are upset in any way, shape or form, sit down and think about why. Then open up to your partner about it. Trust me, they want you to open-up to them more than you know.
On a related note, men have a tendency to avoid conversation in order to avoid fighting. In other words, we shut down. By doing this, we think that we are avoiding conflict and preserving the peace. Instead, we are doing is creating a ticking time bomb.
The worst thing for a marriage is for communication to go out the window. This is often when a marriage gets to the point of no return. Do not let it get there. Learn how to communicate effectively and share your feelings with your wife. Also learn how to understand, be objective, and empathize with your wife.
It’s hard to do. Especially with the societal pressure on men to ‘be tough.’ It requires vulnerability. And when we grew up thinking that being vulnerable is not okay for a man, that creates a unique challenge. It is okay. In fact its absolutely vital. Learning these will help you and your wife lead a happy life together.
Many of us guys don’t realize how much our wives actually do for us. I know that I didn’t. And as time goes on, more women are working full-time, and making life go for their families. Not to say some men don’t do the same, but most of the time, the ladies take care of things.
Women today are expected to do the majority of the cooking, cleaning, and still hold down a job. Oh and statistically, they take care of the kids for significantly more time than their husbands.
So show some appreciation. Be thoughtful. Try to cook for her and clean for her. If you have more time on your hands, make sure she doesn’t have to lift a finger when she gets home. If you have the same work schedule, split cooking and chores with her.
The important take away is think about things that she would normally do, and do them for her. If she knows you were thinking of her, rather than yourself, you will be happy for years to come.
Be a generous lover
The sheer reality of having sex as man is intimidating. Our bottom line is that our performance just matters more. Biologically speaking its just harder to pleasure women the way they deserve.
We basically have luxury of getting off [almost] every time. But sex is a two way street my friends. Our lovely ladies need to get off as well. So if you want to continue to have regular sex, you should be making it well worth her time.
Think about it: why would she want to have sex if the chances of her orgasm are slim to none. If you’re not willing to work for her climax, she won’t really be willing to have sex as often as you like (and you can forget about that thing you want her to all the time).
It takes more effort. And during many sessions, you will have to sacrifice what you really want to give her what she needs. I guarantee, if you give and give in the bedroom consistently, you will start to enjoy a deeper connection with your wife. Plus, she will probably do that one thing you really like more often.
Learn how to validate her
Validating your partner is an essential communication skill. This is the most important piece of relationship advice for men. Period. It helps your partner feel valued and understood.
Here’s a common scenario: Your wife comes home from work. She had a stressful day. She is complaining that her boss treats her unfairly. You respond by saying something like “you need to stand up to your boss.”
This continues for a few days. Finally you get frustrated because she’s not listening to your advice, but still complaining. When all you do is give advice, you are not validating her feelings.
When you jump to advice, you skip the part about understanding and empathizing with her. She is looking to be heard and comforted, not looking for another task to complete. You can still give your advice (and she may want it), but make sure to listen to understand first.
General relationship advice
This is important relationship advice for men and women alike. Or even just life in general. Showing your wife gratitude for everything she does for you or your family lets her know that what she does is appreciated.
For some reason, a lot of us think that our spouses inherently know that they are appreciated for what they do, even if you don’t say anything. Not true. I’m sure you’ve seen at this point on the internet a female pointing out that their husband did the dishes, and expects to be thanked. Meanwhile, she does everything around the house and never gets thanked.
Sounds like a recipe for resentment. Here’s how to avoid it: say thank you often and for every little thing you can think of. Offer to help her with chores. Even better, just get them done for her and still say thank to her for all that she does.
I know it sounds borderline crazy and even a little unfair. It’s not. But what this will do is show her your commitment, and show her that you appreciate her. In turn, she will begin to develop gratitude for you. And when everyone is grateful, everyone is happy.
You are teammates
You and your wife have chosen to go through life together. That does not mean you both shouldn’t take time for yourselves. You absolutely should. It does mean, however, that you should be making decisions together, based on the greater good of your marriage.
In other words, respect your wife enough to not by a motorcycle without telling her for example as much as you may want to. Think about how pissed you would be if your wife spent that kind of money without telling you. It is not better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Say “I love you” often
It’s pretty simple. Saying I love you often reassures her that you care, in the same way saying thank you shows her you care. Say it often and back it up with the actions we just talked about. That is the key to having a healthy life and marriage.