New Year’s Resolutions for your Marriage
I’ve always been a proponent of constantly striving to improve throughout the year, but the New Year does have a way of giving us a fresh start. Many of us come off of a busy November to and Beginning of December, to a nice break between Christmas and New Years. It’s a time that we can relax, be with our loved ones, and contemplate the year that has passed and what we want for the year to come. That is the perfect time to think about your New Year’s Resolutions. This year you should think about how your can improve the quality of your relationship. Here are 5 ideas that you can implement to help strengthen your relationship in 2019.
1. Say “I love you” more
This is simple, but effective. We’re pretty big on simple things that you can do to improve your life and relationship. Saying I love you frequently is an easy way to show your partner that you care about them, are thinking about them, and love them. We all too often forget that our partner’s actually do love us and care for us. A constant reminder is never going to be a bad thing.
2. Set aside more quality time for each other
Without quality time in your relationship, it starts to fade. When you don’t take the time to continue to date your partner, you stop getting to know who they are, and who they are becoming over time. So for the New year, learn how to set aside time to spend with your partner while you are both fully present, rather than stressed out or distracted.
3. Show each other more affection
A lack of affection is the number one reason that couples seek therapy to help their relationship. Without affection, both emotional and physical, it is difficult to feel like your partner cares. The amount of affection you show is directly related to commitment and to satisfaction. Make a concentrated effort this year to be more affectionate and you’ll start to enjoy each other more and more. Many studies have also shown that cuddling just for the sake of cuddling, was an activity that healthy couples experience often. And don’t just be affectionate when you want to have sex. That sends the wrong message. Something as simple as creating bedtime rituals will do the trick.
4. Try to be intimate more often
I know we talked about how affection that doesn’t lead to sex is something that healthy couples do. Healthy couples also have sex regularly, or at least attempt to have sex regularly. For instance, Katie and I don’t have sex everyday, but we are certainly affectionate everyday, and probably cuddle almost everyday. That is one way you can think about striking the balance between the two. If you are the initiator in the relationship, continue to be. If you are generally not the initiator, try to surprise your partner, by initiating more often. They’ll will certainly appreciate the fact that you want them.
5. Wipe the slate clean
Sometimes we just have shitty years. We certainly did in 2017. We at least tried to wipe the slate clean when 2018 rolled around. It did take a few months to completely wipe it clean, but we eventually were able to just wipe the slate clean and start over. If you are feeling like this needs to happen, make a joint New Year’s Resolution with your partner to forgive each other and move forward with your lives. You will come back stronger and closer than before!