Feeling disconnected from husband? This article is a complete guide on how to reconnect with your husband or spouse. This guide will help you deepen the emotional connection in your marriage and teach you how to reconnect with your spouse.

How to Reconnect with your Spouse

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Probably every married couple in the history of the world has wondered how to reconnect with your spouse. It’s common that married couples, through the day-to-day dealings of life, lose the spark of excitement from their early days, and they begin to feel disconnected.

It’s happened to us too.

That’s why we put this guide together – Everything You Want to Know about Reconnecting with your Spouse. If you’re feeling disconnected from your husband, looking for help on how to heal a broken relationship, or simply looking for ways to deepen your emotional connection, we’ve got you covered.

Feeling disconnected from husband? This article is a complete guide on how to reconnect with your husband or spouse. This guide will help you deepen the emotional connection in your marriage and teach you how to reconnect with your spouse.

How did we get disconnected in the first place? 

You may already know the answer to this question. And truthfully, the answer is different for every couple.

Disconnecting from your partner is usually a compound issue – there’s usually more than one reason.

Simple things can be:

  • raising children
  • working demanding jobs
  • full-time schooling

And so much more. But there can be other, more complex reasons why you haven’t been connecting with your spouse as well.

  • one, or both, spouses has experienced a recent trauma (loss of a job, parent, child, etc.)
  • you’re going through a rough patch (you’ve been fighting a lot, disagreeing on something big, etc.)
  • you have unresolved issues that are building resentment.

When is it time to work on reconnecting with your spouse?

Again this will be different for every couple, and you will ultimately have to be the judge. BUT…

My best advice is: sooner than later.

If you’re wondering whether you’ve been putting your marriage on the back burner, feeling “out of sync” with your spouse, or your overall marriage satisfaction has decreased, it’s probably time to start making some changes.

Signs that you’re disconnected from your partner

There are TONS of signs that you and you’re spouse are not on the same wavelength. Too many to list, really. But here’s a few that might help you identify if it’s time to reconnect with your spouse:

  • you don’t share your problems with each other anymore
  • they’ve lost sexual interest in you
  • you spend very little time alone together
  • they don’t seem to care about what you have to say
  • you’re more interested in taking care of your kids than in enriching your marriage
  • you don’t care about trying to solve your marriage problems
  • you think negative thoughts about each other

I could go on all day, but I think you get the point.

The most important thing to remember at this juncture is this:

This is the time that you need to come together and work on prioritizing the health of your marriage.

It is tempting at these points to want to throw in the towel. It’s “quit while I’m behind” mentality.

I understand this mentality, as I have been there. But if you stay in that mentality, I can almost guarantee the downfall of your marriage.

This is the point at which you need change – and that change will come with reconnecting with your spouse.


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YES – as long as you have the desire! The hard part is know HOW to save your marriage. Take our quiz to determine the weak links in your marriage!


How can you reconnect with your spouse?

There are three simple things you need to reconnect with your spouse: communication, quality time, and intimacy. In the coming paragraphs, we’ll dive into each of these in depth.

Communication 

You’re going to hear this from us a lot – mending most things in a marriage is going to come down to communication. 

If you want to rebuild trust in your marriage, you have to tell your spouse that you want to restore trust.

If you feel like selfishness is taking over your marriage, you’ve go to speak up to start combatting it.

Mending anything in a marriage starts with SAYING SOMETHING.  Reconnecting with your spouse is no different.

So, step one to reconnect with your spouse involves saying like this:

“Hey – I know things have been awkward lately (or maybe even for years). I’ve been doing some thinking and I’ve been feeling really lonely.  And it’s because I feel disconnected from you. I want to try to change that.”

Communication requires vulnerability. It’s uncomfortable to want to start this conversation, because you’re afraid of getting shut down.

You’re afraid of opening up – or being vulnerable – because it puts you at risk of being hurt.

The tricky thing is that not being vulnerable does a good job of protecting you from getting hurt. That’s why it’s so hard to want to be vulnerable.

But a lack of vulnerability also dampens feelings of joy, excitement, and love too.

So the logic goes like this: if you don’t say anything about wanting to reconnect with your spouse, you protect yourself from the possibility of failing at it.

But you also keep yourself from experience the joy, excitement, and love that could come back if you do try to reconnect with your spouse.

It is a risk – but from what I can see, it’s one worth taking.

Quality Time 

It’s time for a little exercise:

Think about how much time you’ve been getting alone with your partner lately.  

Do you have kids?  That takes up a bunch of time! Do you both work full-time? That also takes up a bunch of time!  Does one spouse travel for work?  

Or, have you been in a rough patch, where you’re not on good terms with each other? All these things get in the way of having quality time.

How much quality time have you been able to get in lately?

Think back to when you and your spouse felt most connected with each other – there may be several examples.  Maybe it was at the beginning of your relationship, maybe on your honeymoon, maybe after the birth of a child, etc.

All of these instances have something in common – they’re times when you have a lot of quality time together.  

So what we’re saying is, quality time is imperative to reconnecting, and maintaining a connection with your spouse.  

Let’s just take the beginning of a relationship for an example – typically new lovers spend as much time together as possible, right?

You look for any excuse to spend time together, because you’re enjoying getting to know each other! You’re curious about each other, and getting to know each other helps to grow your connection.

What if we don’t have time for quality time?

Here’s the tough love: you’ve got to find some.  Schedule it if you have to.  Move some things around if you need to.  Find a babysitter.

Here’s what happens if you don’t make time for quality time:  everyday life stuff takes over – work, bills, kids, in-laws, etc.  More and more time passes that you and your spouse haven’t connected.  

Before you know it, years pass, and you’re left with a stranger.  Or worse, you’re left with someone whose resentful about all the care and love they missed out on. 

Anybody been there? (Raise your hand!)

SO – if you don’t have time for quality time – make some!

Intimacy

Intimacy is vital to a marriage.  But when a lot of people hear the word “intimacy” they automatically think sex.

If you’re feeling disconnected from your spouse (or have been for a long time), sex is probably not really on the table anyway.

So we’re not really talking about sex right now – we’re talking more about physical affection and playfulness.

Physical affection is important in a relationship. It is also a simple concept – something you already understand well.  Hugging, holding hands, cuddling, a back rub, kissing, etc.

There’s a positive correlation between your connectedness as a couple and the amount of physical affection in your relationship.  In other words, the more cuddly, the more kissy, and huggy you are, the more connected you will feel with your spouse.

As for playfulness – it looks different for every couple.  This can be tickle fights, pillow fights, hide and scare each other.

There was a point when Mike and I decided we were “too old” to be playful anymore. Coincidentally enough, this was around the same time that everything in our marriage started spiraling out of control.

I say it was a coincidence, but it wasn’t. We had become cynical and filled with negativity (among other things) – and it drove us apart.

It broke our connection.

But as soon as we brought some of that playfulness back into our marriage, soooo many things started to get better.

Feeling disconnected from husband? This article is a complete guide on how to reconnect with your husband or spouse. This guide will help you deepen the emotional connection in your marriage and teach you how to reconnect with your spouse.

How long does it take to reconnect with your spouse?

It depends.  How long have you been feeling disconnected?  How long has your partner been disconnecting from you?  

Time is a factor here.  What’s an analogy – mold.  The longer you let a mold problem go unchecked, the harder it is to fix. 

But if you catch it early, it’s usually a manageable problem to solve.  

The same thing is true in your marriage.  So, as a general piece of advice, don’t neglect these 3 things in your marriage.  If you do, it will result in becoming disconnected. 

On the other hand, if you want to reconnect with your spouse, paying deliberate attention to these 3 areas of your marriage will have lasting positive effects.

Why is it important to reconnect with your spouse?

Being connected to your spouse is really about the amount of happy memories you have together.  

If, right now, you’re overtaken with unhappy memories and feelings in your marriage, there’s pretty much a guarantee you’re feeling disconnected.  

But if you can start to insert some more happy memories using the tools we’ve given you, soon enough those happy memories will overtake the bad ones, and you’ll feel united as a couple again. 

It’s a gradual process – it was for Mike and I.  We had a year and a half (ish) of hell, so it took some time to repair.  But the 3 things that we changed were in fact, communication, quality time, and intimacy.  


Can your marriage be saved?

YES – as long as you have the desire! The hard part is know HOW to save your marriage. Take our quiz to determine the weak links in your marriage!

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